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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Silent Inspiration

how did i find indigo? six degrees of something or other, crumbs lined into tiny trails, concentric and familiar. all i know is i first read her words and something in me changed. a shift under the surface, rippled wind on my skin. her words didn't just touch me. i wanted to touch them. i wanted to print her words out on parchment and bake them until they smoked up the house. her strength shines through the keyboard. she has this special gift, you see. she lives in a world i do not. and yet she invites me in again and again. take off your ears and put them on the bedside table. you'll hear her, deep as the ocean, leaving ink on your ribcage.

When Krista first asked me about inspiration, believe it or not I had to look the word up. Seriously.

Here’s what came up: 1) Stimulation to do creative work, 2) Somebody or something that inspires, 3) Creativeness, 4) Good idea, 5) Divine influence, 6) Breathing in.

It’s not that I didn’t understand the meaning of the word. I wasn’t exactly sure how that one word was relevant in correlation to someone else. There is a reason for this, an explanation that renders my inquiry believable. Up until 5 years ago, I wasn’t exactly inspired, driven - yes, but in reality a world of difference from what is the general definition of inspiration. None of the above would have been even remotely used to describe me.

“The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” – Charles Dubois

So what changed?

Silence - In all its pure, quiet, ethereal, whispered and calming portent that renders one deaf.

It’s the one element that entered my life and halted my rapacious plunder forward. The only thing that was able to immobilize me in my tracks and make me take note of the world around me, a fearful pillager who invaded my very being and stole the essence of my momentum, my heart, my life.

Make no mistake it wasn’t a welcome pirate.

Outside my quiet cocoon, life thrived around me and left me appalled at how it was I had been forgotten between the folds of quiet reserve and gone un-noticed. A pity party of one finds itself a deviant harbor of the meaning - alone.

Slowly amidst the silence, my mind began to quiet the meddlesome noise of indignation and scorn. Noise that favored stress, confusion, turmoil, endless undulated questions, and immense pain. I watched and let my eyes be my ears and began to see life emerge in ways I never knew possible.

My days remained lingering but never stagnant. Instead they were spent in exploration of all those things I had previously rushed on by and left in my wake. The wind rushing through the tree branches dancing a dervish, or the way a ray of light fell across my face in warmth or rippled like waves across the lawn at a certain time of day. Underneath it all was a subtle vibration that pulled and played at the edges of my being. It was the quiet heart of life that plays out around us, beneath us, above us lost in choral display blending in unison.

Silence is never so alive, as in those moments of quiet contemplation and introspective glances of one self. For only when you quiet the noise in your head, will you hear what the heart is saying.

Quiet echoes of life strumming amidst the silence - that is my inspiration, my reminders to live at life’s pace and not rush this wondrous experience of breathing and just plain being alive.

Maybe I understood what Krista was asking of me, more than I let on. The mystery lay in that it was something that I embrace and live with every moment of my waking days and nights. May you find your inspiration in the every day as well. Just quiet your mind, listen…your heart is speaking. - Indigo

17 comments:

  1. My dear Krista, you've left me speechless once again. It's your words that give me warmth. My silence might have became my inspiration, but you, your friendship keeps the coals burning bright. Thank you for the amazing honor of posting for you. (Hugs)Indigo

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  2. I agree with you Indigo, although, Krista is right. I don't believe I can express myself as well as you have. Your words articulate my thoughts. I have ceased to live my life in a rush, wondering at all the unfairness directed toward me, long ago. I feel freer, happier, able to rejoice in the moment.

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  3. Inspiring: Indigo. Krista. Here. Now. Thank you!

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  4. What an incredible post. Thank you so much, Indigo, for your beautiful writing - and Krista, what an incredibly gorgeous introduction! You both are so amazingly strong.

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  5. Very inspiring post, in multiple ways :o)

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  6. I agree with Ken ... in fact, some of the words are familiar to me, as are some of 'the pirate' who comes in and steals away a treasure.

    Be well, Indy and Krista too!

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  7. Speechless. elegantly written with much warmth from the heat and more..thank you!

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  8. How beautiful! Thanks for saying what we all need to learn: to live life as it somes.

    xoxo

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  9. Beautiful Indigo, one of your best. And that is saying something!

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  10. Wonderful.

    Just beautiful writing, thank you for sharing it with us.

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  11. Inspiration comes in many forms, shapes and sizes. Sometimes it's things. Sometimes it's happenings. Sometimes it comes in the form of the spoken word. Sometimes in the form of the written word. And sometimes - just sometimes - it comes in the form of a person. An extraordinary person. Like Indigo.

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  12. again, Indigo.. you have left me in awe. The way you express yourself, keeps me coming back for more. You are truly a gifted person, with the heart of an angel. Thank you for always knowing the right things to say. sending you many hugs to you!!
    Kelly~

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  13. This is amazing and not only inspiring but a true testament to friendship, to the manner in which we can present each other and ourselves...thank you so much Krista and Indigo for your strength and courage!

    xo GM

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  14. AWESOME as always! This is my favorite passage:

    Silence is never so alive, as in those moments of quiet contemplation and introspective glances of one self. For only when you quiet the noise in your head, will you hear what the heart is saying.

    It is so true!

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  15. Indigo - Everytime I read what you have written, I am touched. With you, words have such rich meaning and worth. You write so beautifully, even about disheartening things.

    Krista- I'm so glad I discovered your lovely blog.

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  16. Indigo is a dear person with such a HUGE talent. I really love this posting.

    SB

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  17. Beautiful (and so inspiring) words from one of my favorite writers. Gorgeous, Indigo.

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use your kind words.