i had a reaction.
maybe it was all in my mind.
friday morning, i wake and get dressed for work. a couple red bumps on each forearm, itchy and warm. one on my neck. my cheek.
at lunch i spend far, far too much time on google. i am convinced: bedbugs. when i get home from work, i turn into a tweaker, scouring the corners of the mattress with intention. searching for things that i cannot see but have convinced myself exist. i spend hours at the laundromat. i clean everything.
i go to bed with the lights on and do not sleep. every half hour i thrown the sheets open and look for something. nothing.. pure white cotton, freshly exfoliated skin.
i finally fall asleep at five am. wake up at six with the baby. i feel strange.
i look in the mirror and simultaneously gasp and exhale. i am dressed in a suit of hives, barely a patch of me untouched.
at least its not bugs, i think.
i wake bryan up and he sort of inches his way out the door, to the drugstore. i am shaking and an aveeno bath does not help.
finn points at me and says 'boo boo.'
i sleep most of saturday.
today i look like me again.
i had a reaction to something.
but maybe it was all in my mind and my body took the fall.
i went for a long walk with the baby today. out in the sunshine.
i feel better already.