Sunday, March 25, 2012
i planted tomato plants yesterday. and although the planting and dirt under my nails makes me feel calm, there is a cacophony of anxiety simmering underneath. because i am not good at growing, at cultivating. something always goes wrong and it ends up looking decayed, forgotten. unkempt. no matter how much or how little i water and i hear people talk about the simplicity of growing things and i think i must have been absent when they taught basic life skills on some level because i know how to navigate a grocery store produce aisle like a champ but cannot for the life of me make a fucking tomato grow to term.
i want to live closer to the ocean. where taking a trip to target for non-essential necessities is equidistant to the water. i think i will feel softer, quieter. i think my simmering has something to do with the water in my body bubbling to find itself in the air. the farther away i live from the ocean, the more afraid i am. of everything. i am not a mountain girl.
Posted by krista at 10:59 AM