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i dreamt i was holding an old carpet bag. with two long sticks for handles, an intricate embroidery pattern on the outside. it was waxed canvas, heavy. inside were my intestines, my stomach, my innards. warm and organized. do we have everything? all accounted for. well, then, let's go. i woke up and threw up for the next six hours.
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i think these times of sick are the most telling of who you are, who you are with. we spent four days in a petri dish of gross bodily functions and yet there was so much beauty in between it all. like my mom coming to be our nurse for two days. like bryan helping me in the middle of the night when he was still in the throes of it because i couldn't get to both sick kids at the same time (beds needing to be stripped and washed, all at once.) like my family letting me sleep through my worst of it, my mom bringing me the baby to nurse when needed. like the way the first sips of chicken broth taste when they actually stay down. like waking up on the other side with at least the knowledge that everything in the house is sanitized and you've lost six pounds.
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it's time to fold laundry, to get out in the sunshine, rehydrate.
i feel like planting something.
i feel like swimming in the ocean.
i feel like i should celebrate more than i do.
i also feel like taking a nap.
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Oh, I hope all is better. I've been doing laundry all day and purging (closets) and making room for ourselves.
ReplyDeleteSteph
The blessings, no? There in the midst of utter chaos there are blessings. To count them is wise. To ignore them is prideful. To minimize them is simplistic. Moms. Probably one of God's best inventions. The cruelty of fate when you've not one, and the blessing to be counted when you do!
ReplyDeleteI don't need to say this because you know it's true, but I will be there any time you need me (even when you don't ask, like you didn't this time). And you (we, the entire family) are blessed that you and Bryan chose one another - it's a complete circle. And I keep telling him how much I appreciate him being who he is in your family - not every man would have climbed out of their sick bed to help you. He's special and we love you Bryan! Kritter, I'm so glad the worst of it is over. It's heart wrenching to see your family so listless and tired and sick - it's one of a mother's worst experiences because even though we help, it's that feeling that I'd rather the illness came to me rather than you and the kids. (Of course, I really don't want it either - it's just the way of saying it... ha ha). Love you and was glad to do what I could last weekend. Mom
ReplyDeleteI would say that occasionally celebrating and taking a nap are one in the same. That being said, I agree that true character does come out when you are sick, and when people step up to the plate, it's a wonderfully comforting thing.
ReplyDeleteSpring is definitely here and it's a nice feeling to want to plant, and grow, and celebrate, and swim. All in due time, girl.
Oh so glad you are starting to get better! This darn stomach bug has been making the rounds.... one of the hazards of spending time with kids. If you feel up to it I'd so love you to play with my meme.... I'm going to try to think of some interesting questions? http://wp.me/pgY75-Nu
ReplyDeletexo
hmmm. interesting dream. it sez a lot about yer connection with yer body, don't you think? i, too, got hit with the stomach rage last week, the very day after i burned a room in my soul that held too many lies. while it *felt* like i was trying to vomit out my tongue, what it *was* was the body's way of rejecting a lifetime's worth of lies. sick can be magic, but then again - so can naps. xo.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are all feeling better.
ReplyDeleteNice to be reminded of the little things that are good in life throughout the haze of un-goodness...
You are so blessed to have you Mom. You know that, I know. But still... had to say it.
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