the middle child

i turn around in the car and i see them holding hands. she is so protective of her baby brother and when he screams she runs over to him and makes faces until he laughs. she finally got to take a bath with him and she helped me wash his hair and she kissed his cheeks. (she also tried pouring water all over his face and wouldn't let him play with her mermaid toy. we're not angels.)

and then her older brother comes to visit. for the entire week before he gets here, she talks about him nonstop. her voice wavers a bit and she draws him an infinite amount of pictures. after b picks him up at the airport, we meet them at a restaurant and she absolutely vibrates waiting for him to get there. as soon as he does, she turns bright red, starts smiling uncontrollably and won't look him in the eye. she hides behind my legs and tries to burrow into my thighs. i'm nervous she says, giggling. it takes her almost 48 hours to be able to talk to him. she has been his shadow ever since and she watches him, unable to be inconspicuous. he is a teenager. she is four. her hero comes to visit and she thinks the world is full of stardust and when i ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she says a princess and a fairy and nathan will be the prince. i ask her if dash will live there, too, and she says of course, mommy. he'll be the baby.