if i had another life to live i think i would live in france for a year. maybe two. (maybe it would turn into six and i would wax nostalgic ad nauseum after returning to california.) i would get my masters in creative writing while attending pastry school. i would join the peace corps and audition for a theater company in a major city. i would take that job as a prep cook at the vegetarian restaurant in napa valley. i would join the swim team and study classic literature and i would plant a garden in my backyard everywhere i live. i would own a dog, publish some poetry, add horticulture as a minor. i would open a bookstore and learn how to ski.
if i had another life to live i think i would do all of those things. and then i would sit down and list everything i would do if only i lived the life i'm living now.
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I was thinking about this today, what I've done and what I haven't done. And then of course it's impossible not to think of certain friends who have or are currently: living and teaching in Saudi Arabia, are university professors with fabulous dentist husbands + writing a popular sewing blog+ raising two little ones +having a PhD by 30, traveling through Peru with their movie executive husbands etc. etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteEnter very long sigh here. I have to try not to judge my life against the lives of others. But it's harrrd. Enter long sigh here. :)
An interesting, bittersweet write. I try to live with no regrets, but that doesn't always work for my tender, poet-heart. I wish I'd written more poems and worried less. :-) I have no degrees, but both of my children do. I sacrificed for them and I don't regret that. I'm grateful for being alive and aware. For now, that's enough. xo
ReplyDelete"The philosophy of mine earth can be summed up as this: Sunshine creates happiness, and I create myself. Nights are long and life is predominantly good. Wind is refreshing. Tea is wisdom. Do the best you can, and be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others." ~Jessi Lane Adams
yes.
ReplyDeleteand i'm trying very hard to do a few of those things - or at least explore them - like learning to speak spanish . and i'm hoping to live abroad, even for a short burst of time, once our kid goes to college. xo
I read your blog regularly a few years back, but stopped reading blogs (and posting on my own) for several years. I've just begun to read a few blogs again and wanted to let you know that I've been enjoying yours. You express yourself so beautifully and in such a unique way. I've been looking forward to reading your daily posts this week—great idea!
ReplyDeleteAs we were talking today I mentioned that I wish I’d known being an organizational consultant would be a career today – I totally would have thrown all my energy into doing that. Someone asked why I didn’t try to do it now – answer, there are so many who do that already getting a foothold in the community would be a monumental task in addition to having to become familiar with every type of organizational product available. Plus, I need to have a steady income to pay bills – but….. maybe in the future I can do something like that. I’m a Virgo (is that a reason/ excuse/good reference), and love to compartmentalize everything, by color, size, function (except for my life – that doesn’t seem to stay in any compartment I try to fit it into).
ReplyDeleteWalking into the Container Store, reading a Closets Galore ad, visiting Lowe’s in the organizer section – all of this sets my heart racing and oodles of ideas spilling all over the floor waiting to be put into action. Alas, home only has so many places to organize before it’s done – so sometimes I just take it apart and redo it. Both you and I saw this picture of hidden storage under a staircase and we both felt our hearts race a bit. Ah, to have the staircase to make into that……
Well, that’s the part of my life for the later years – my wish list of “do overs”? Your list is much longer than mine ever was – all I’d ever wanted to be was a stewardess since I was 11 years old. And I got to do it! But I should have stayed a stewardess until I was tired of doing it – quitting too soon leaves that unfinished piece of your almost-accomplishments floating around your ribcage, floating to the surface every time you see a plane take off. Sigh.
In the here and now, I love being Mimi to Finn and Dash – that’s my greatest love. And if children can be considered a life’s accomplishment, then you, Krista are mine. I love you.