i caught someone today talking about my children. overheard their words without them knowing until the words were there, floating, lit.
she is amazing, fantastic...(mumble, shuffle) adorable in the way she....(walking)...so intelligent. and her little brother? ohmygod...so cute!
a little vacuum of air around my ears when i realized it was MY children they were talking about. eyes ripe and blinking.
it is one thing for people to tell you kind things about your children. it is another thing altogether to hear someone say it when they don't think you are there.
my daughter is back in preschool - after being home with me all last term. she has one friend in particular where they light up like sparklers when they see each other, spindly arms and jumping boots. finn made her a card today and this little girl's face exploded in excitement. she's amazing, mommy. she's the bestest girl ever. i love myself so much.
this is what she says when she is happy.
i love myself so much.
if i do anything right, it will be keeping that feeling so attached to her core that nothing (no friend, no lover, no struggle, no action) can take it away. if i do anything in this life, let it be keeping my children in love with themselves.